OVERVIEW OF MAN'S RELATIONSHIPS TO HIS WIFE, FAMILY & FRIENDS

By Dennis Schmidt 8/2011

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This paper discusses how to improve relationships we have with our wives, family members, and friends. Some notes are from the book "If Only He Knew" to improve husband & wife relationships by Gary Smalley. All scriptures are from the King James' version Bible.

INDUCTIVE COMMENTS:

THEME: A man's time, effort, and resources go into what is most important to him.

Matthew 6:21  His life, family, business, hobbies are most important to him.  Same as Luke 12:34.

If the wife finds she is not the most important things to her husband, she feels rejected.  Marriage problems will occur.

Ephesians 5:28-29  Man puts his life, wants & desires 1st. If man finds his body rejecting him, he is disappointed and wants it corrected. The same is true with his wife finding her husband rejecting her. She wants the relationship corrected.

PURPOSE:

Ephesians 5:25  Husband compared to Jesus.

Ephesians 5:33  Husband's love to wife compared to self.

Colossians 3:19  Husbands are to love their wife with command to be not cruel.  If a problem, he has Biblical obligation to find out what is cause.

1 Peter 3:7  Husband's to honor wife: place high value.

KEY VERSE: Love is the greatest of faith, hope, and charity or love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13  Charity=love in action.

Galatians 5:14

WHO: God mainly by Bible authors Moses, David, Solomon, Matthew, Luke, John, and Paul

TO WHOM: Elected Christians

WHAT: A man's time, effort, and resources go into what is most important to him.

Matthew 6:21  His life, family, business, hobby are most important to him.  Same as Luke 12:34.

If the wife finds she is not the most important things to her husband, she feels rejected.  Marriage problems will occur.

Ephesians 5:28-29  Man puts his life, wants & desires 1st. If man finds his body rejecting him, he is disappointed and wants it corrected. The same is true with his wife finding her husband rejecting her. She wants the relationship corrected.

WHY: Wife relationship equals self love.

Submitted to each other in ministry (1 Corinthians 16:16); each other (Galatians 3:28 & Ephesians 5:21); and love (Galatians 5:13).

Galatians 5:13  Christian's life to wife, family & friends.

Genesis 2:24  Two made one as joined together to become complete.

Matthew 19:4-6

Ephesians 5:31  Two made one as they are joined.

WAY: Most important (over child, job, hobby); praised (Proverbs 31:28); defended & provided for (Genesis 3:19); & be tender, gentle & understanding to wife & other's (1 Peter 3:7)

Genesis 2:20-23  God ordained marriage.

Proverbs 5:18-19  Rejoice with wife of youth.

Hebrews 13:4

WHEREAS: Love, protect, serve & rule.

A man should look past his wife (others) words & look for the real meanings beyond the words (i.e. always, never). Scripture states: only the wise seek correction (Proverbs-many). He's to show mercy, kindness, meekness, patience, humbleness, etc (Colossians 3:12-14); tender, gentle & understanding to wife & other's (1 Peter 3:7).

Genesis 3:18-19   Man is to work and provide for his family.

Joshua 24:15  Man is spiritual leader of family.

Ephesians 5:25  Husband compared to Jesus.

Ephesians 5:33  Husband's love to wife compared to self.

Colossians 3:19  Husband's is to love his wife with command to be not cruel.  If a problem, he has Biblical obligation to find out what is cause.

2 Thessalonians 3:10-12  Man works to eat

1 Peter 3:7  Husband's to honor wife: place high value.

WHERE: Earth

WHEN: All times

WHILE: Love growing to its highest state. God's love. Genuine love which produces giving. See a need and meet the need.

Matthew 22:36-40  God stated the same commandments in the Old Testament. The "love God" command is found in Deuteronomy 6:5, 10:12, and 30:6. The "love neighbour" command is found in Leviticus 19:18. The Old Testament included law (mainly in first five books of Moses), prophets (many) and writings (many). The writings statement is implied here.

John 15:11-13  Romans 5:7-8 shows Jesus, our examples, love.

Romans 5:7-8  Love the unlovable.

WANT: Love is the greatest of faith, hope, and charity or love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13  Charity=love in action.

Galatians 5:14

PAPER OUTLINE:

I) MOST IMPORTANT:

II) LOVE:

A) TYPES OF LOVE:

1) PHILEO LOVE:

2) EROS LOVE:

3) AGAPE LOVE:

B) IMMATURE LOVE:

1) JEALOUSY:

2) ENVY:

3) ANGER:

4) LOVELINESS:

5) FEAR:

III) MARRIAGE:

A) MEET EACH OTHERS NEEDS:

B) ONE FLESH:

C) HUSBANDS RESPONSIBILITIES TO HIS WIFE:

IV) SERVANT:

V) PRIEST:

VI) SUBMITTED TO EACH OTHER:

VII) HUMILITY:

VIII) FORGIVENESS & RECONCILIATION:

IX) TONGUE:

X) CHILDREN:

XI) FRIENDS & FAMILY:

XII) WOMAN OF HONOR:

I) MOST IMPORTANT: A man's time, effort and resources go into these.

Matthew 6:21  His life, family, business, hobby are most important to him. Same as Luke 12:34.

If the wife finds she is not the most importance things to her husband, she feels rejected. Marriage problems will occur.

Ephesians 5:28-29  Man puts his life, wants & desires 1st. If man finds his body rejecting him, he is disappointed and wants it corrected. The same is true with his wife finding her husband rejecting her. She wants the relationship corrected.

II) LOVE: Making others more important. Growing from self to others. There are three types of love: Phileo (Greek) = feeling or companionship; Eros (Greek) = sensual and physical or passion; and Agape (Greek) = genuine or Godly.

A) TYPES OF LOVE:

1) PHILEO LOVE: Fond of or feeling. This is a companionship love which stimulates all five senses. She: smells good, feels good, sound good, looks good & taste good. This love starts a relationship because he like her similarly to enjoying pizza or a type of music.

2) EROS LOVE: Kind of love that want other person to stimulate sexual urges. Passion without genuine love gives way from lust to disgust.

3) AGAPE LOVE: Love growing to its highest state. God's love. Genuine love which produces giving. See a need and meet the need.

Matthew 22:36-40  God stated the same commandments in the Old Testament. The "love God" command is found in Deuteronomy 6:5, 10:12, and 30:6. The "love neighbour" command is found in Leviticus 19:18. The Old Testament included law (mainly in first five books of Moses), prophets (many) and writings (many). The writings statement is implied here.

John 15:11-13  Romans 5:7-8 shows Jesus, our examples, love.

Romans 5:7-8  Love the unlovable.

Romans 13:10  Love shows only good.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13   Charity=love in action.

Galatians 5:14

B) IMMATURE LOVE: Use of others for my purpose without paying the cost.

1) JEALOUSY: Fear of losing what we value since that meets our needs.

2) ENVY: To have what someone else has, thinking it will meet my need.

3) ANGER: Want to control people or circumstance.

4) LOVELINESS: Dependent on others for my happiness.

5) FEAR: Concern that I will not meet my goals.

III) MARRIAGE: Relationship with wife and family unit.

A) MEET EACH OTHERS NEEDS: Most important (over child, job, hobby); praised (Proverbs 31:28); defended & provided for (Genesis 3:19); & be tender, gentle & understanding to wife & other's (1 Peter 3:7)

Genesis 2:20-23  God ordained marriage.

Proverbs 5:18-19  Rejoice with wife of youth.

Hebrews 13:4

B) ONE FLESH: Wife equals self love.

Submitted to each other in ministry (1 Corinthians 16:16); each other (Galatians 3:28 & Ephesians 5:21); and love (Galatians 5:13).

Galatians 5:13  Christian's life to wife, family & friends.

Genesis 2:24  Two made one as joined together to become complete.

Matthew 19:4-6

Ephesians 5:31  Two made one as they are joined.

C) HUSBANDS RESPONSIBILITIES TO HIS WIFE: Love, protect, serve & rule.

A man should look past his wife (others) words & look for the real meanings beyond the words (i.e. always, never). Scripture states: only the wise seek correction (Proverbs-many). He's to show mercy, kindness, meekness, patience, humbleness, etc (Colossians 3:12-14); tender, gentle & understanding to wife & other's (1 Peter 3:7).

Genesis 3:18-19  Man is to work and provide for his family.

Joshua 24:15  Man is spiritual leader of family.

Ephesians 5:25  Husband compared to Jesus.

Ephesians 5:33  Husband's love to wife compared to self.

Colossians 3:19  Husband's love to wife with command to be not cruel. If a problem, he has Biblical obligation to find out what is cause.

2 Thessalonians 3:10-12   Man works to eat

1 Peter 3:7  Husband's to honor wife: place high value.

IV) SERVANT: Man is to serve and put others before himself.

The Christian man is a servant to his wife, family, and friends as Christ example of service. God rewards headship to the servant.

Mark 9:35  First = leader.  First must serve like Jesus.

Luke 17:7-10  Do all we can yet we still will not improve ourselves.

Matthew 20:26-28  Leaders serve

V) PRIEST: Man is to serve & pray for others.

The Christian man is the priest in the home to his wife and family.

As father he represents God's image to his children. He is to instruct his wife and children about God. He is also the intercessor for his friends between God and them.

Exodus 19:6  All Israel, not just the priestly tribe.

Job 1:4-5  Man is to be the priest between God and his family.

1 Peter 2:5  Priest sacrificed, so should man

Romans 12:1  Offer self

1 Peter 2:9  Isaiah 61:6 Priest = Lord's minister; Revelation 1:6/20:6 King & priest to reign with Jesus on earth.

Revelation 5:10  God's calling for the Christian.

VI) SUBMITTED TO EACH OTHER: A Christian relationship to wife & others.

Submission is to yield oneself to the control of another. The man is to be obedient to God's command and man's commands (each other, religious leaders, government leaders & work masters).

1 Corinthians 16:16  Such = saints

Ephesians 5:21  Directive from scriptures for the wife to submit to husband.

Galatians 3:28  We are one in Christ. God gives us our ministry.

1 Peter 2:18

1 Peter 5:5  

VII) HUMILITY: Puts others above oneself.

Proverbs 29:23  Humility is opposite to pride.

Luke 16:13  Mammon=money

Romans 12:10  Christian nature

1 Corinthians 10:24   Care about others welfare above own welfare.

Galatians 6:1   Christian is meek.

Philippians 2:3-9  Man has rule.

Colossians 3:12-14  Christians approach

VIII) FORGIVENESS & RECONCILIATION: Hurt feelings, really are anger.

Harmony is the absence of unsettled offenses between two people.

A man's relationship with his wife & others must be of love, with a forgiving heart & continuous reconciling to grow closer to other.

Matthew 5:23-24

Luke 17:3-4   Man is to forgive every time.

1 John 4:20   Love God & brother (wife)

IX) TONGUE: Man's conversation: positive, praise, kind & hopeful words.

Proverbs 6:2  Only speak positively.

Proverbs 15:1  Argument response. Don't lecture-verbal abuse.

Proverbs 18:21  Speak love words

Luke 6:45  Man speaks for his heart

Ephesians 4:29  Christian ministry to world.

Colossians 4:6

X) CHILDREN: Father to love, teach, support, praise & encourage them.

Father to child is an image of the Almighty Father God to Christian

Deuteronomy 4:9  Man teach by example & word

Deuteronomy 6:5-7  God's laws are to be ever before us.

Psalms 127:3-5

Proverbs 13:24  Man guides by punishment.

Proverbs 22:6  Guide by example.

Ephesians 6:4  Fathers are not to drive their children to outrage.

Colossians 3:21  Fathers are not to dishearten children.

Hebrews 12:6-7

Hebrews 12:9-10

XI) FRIENDS & FAMILY: Man to love, serves, and assists his friends.

The Bible principle for love is caring for others as a priest, and being submitted to others which is what Jesus did.

Genesis 47:11-12  Man responds

Proverbs 25:17  Don't over stay visit.

Matthew 22:39  Neighbor starts with family then friends.

John 13:35  Christian's example

John 15:12-13  Love as Jesus loved.

Romans 15:1-2

Galatians 5:13-14

1 Thessalonians 4:9  Christians prove to their family their faith in God.

1 John 4:20  Love 1st show in family.

XII) WOMAN OF HONOR: Husband to trust, support, honor & praise her.

Man should strive to marry a woman of honor as shown below. A father would desire his son to marry such a person and his daughter to use this scripture as her guide.

Proverbs 31:10-31  Wife does good & husband praises her.  Before honor is humility(Proverbs 15:33); Love given before received


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This page is maintained by Dennis Schmidt. Please send your questions or comments to (dennisaschmidt1@gmail.com)